Recently, my wife and I went from a romantic anniversary dinner, where we reminisced about 29 years of memories over wine and candlelight, to a (near) fight in record time. It was amazing how quickly the transition took place. All because of a tree—well, several trees. While we were out, a huge thunderstorm passed through our area, and we returned home to about a half-dozen broken or downed trees on our property—some of which caused significant damage. Suddenly, we weren't feeling so romantic. The "mood" only intensified when we started discussing what to do about the situation—and we clearly weren't in agreement.

It didn't take long for the irony to become apparent. How many times over the last 29 years had we let a "storm" come between us, ruin our plans, or cause us to lose sight of the big picture in our relationship? Too many, to be sure.

It's the same in business. Things are going swimmingly—until they're not. A problem arises, and people who usually get along start feeling tension; meetings take a turn, and dissatisfaction levels start rising along with grumbling. It can all happen so suddenly and, if left unchecked, can have catastrophic consequences. So, what do you do? Nearly 30 years of marriage and 15 years of business leadership have taught me a few tips:

• Your first responsibility is honest assessment, not defensiveness. Approach the problem with the mindset that you could have something to do with it and be willing to be wrong because being right all the time is not only impossible; it's also self-sabotaging behavior that ultimately reveals insecurity.
• Listen without needing to defend yourself, which will speak volumes. A heard employee is a valued employee. A valued employee is motivated. And a motivated employee will strive to do their best work. More importantly, empathetic listening will eventually lead to trust and loyalty - two business and relationship keystones that cannot be manufactured but must be hand-built over time.
• Approach the situation with the goal of a healthy resolution, not vindication. As a leader, you're not in it to be right; you're in it to use your gifts and talents to serve, inspire, and build others up.

There is no doubt that some battles need to be vigorously fought. But I submit that they are few and far between. So choose wisely. And when you choose your battles wisely, you're also making many other good choices that will lead to better outcomes, healthier relationships, stronger teams, and better businesses.

The downed trees on our property nearly led to a fight between my wife and me, but our many years together have softened the edges and brought the temperature of disagreements down. We have both settled into the following universal realities: life happens, it isn't always pretty, no one will ever be perfect, and we're in it for the long haul, so why battle each other over a tree or two? Really—why?

As the saying goes, "You can be right, or you can be happy." Happy is the better choice.